The open house was a fantastic success. Not only do I look forward to starting again, but I also feel as though it's do-able. Both my confidence and my hopes are high. Which is good; because I really need something to look forward to. The only problem is that classes don't start until September. I know that the time will fly, but I feel so impulsive. I'm in to it and I want it now!
My fear is that if I delay in any way, I'll look up an it's been another 2 years (I still can't believe I graduated 2 years ago!). My only real concern is that I'm going in to a different realm; something I've never done before (at least not on this level). I've been keeping my decision pretty quiet (I don't work in the most supportive environment), to allow myself the opportunity to digest things as they come without having to worry about explaining to defending any of my decisions.
I've done the full-time student, full-time employee thing before and I know that I can handle the workload. I just worry that if my job knows that I'm pursuing other options, that my ever action will look like it either is or could be a result of the extra workload. The decision to go back to school and change careers is mine. I own it 100% and it's NOT going to effect my full-time job. To prove this, I don't plan on telling my job of my decision. In the same way that I didn't mention that I was selling my house and I don't mention my wedding plans.
It's tough being in a situation where it feels like people are waiting to catching you tripping. Waiting to see this whole thing blow up in your face. If the environment isn't supportive; if it isn't nurturing, then I just prefer to keep things separate.
I may or may not fail....
that's for me to decide.
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